Adventures of a Curly Girl

What shall she get up to today?

Things I Do Not Understand: Diet Shakes

In my life there have been times when I thought I was losing my mind because what was acceptable for some people, did not make sense to me. For example, diet shakes that come with a crazy diet program.

The seemingly helpful people selling these programs will tell you all sorts of crazy shit like ‘You can lose a million pounds if you drink this magic shake or take these magic pills. Only two shakes a day and you will shrink and be perfect and healthy and thin and beautiful in only 30 days! Lose 10 lbs a week minimum drinking our magic drinks and eat only one meal a day which isn’t processed food, only whole foods. Don’t you want to be healthy for yourself and your family? You need our magic shake!’

For years I wondered about a few things regarding shake diets. Now isn’t their magical diet shake processed in a factory just like the so-called offensive ‘processed’ foods? Yes, the answer is yes.

Diet shakes are processed food


Yes, their magic shakes are processed and made in a factory. If you ask one of them about this fact, they dodge and duck the question like a sleazy politician because of this truth. If they tell you the truth, you might stop buying their crazy overpriced processed diet program cause selling shakes is their livelihood.  (Who in their right mind grows up aspiring to sell overpriced nasty tasting diet shakes for a living anyway?)

Also, those diet beverages and the cuckoo people who sell them claim that these shakes are a ‘whole meal’.  Since when is a shake a meal? It’s not a meal!!  I don’t care what they call it, it’s still a shake and would be best suited next to a cheese burger and fries.  A meal is something you can chew with your teeth, not a beverage you can ingest in less than 5 minutes.

Shakes belong next to a cheese burger and fries


Another thing that baffles me about these diet shake programs is how ineffective they are even when you are following the program to a T AND how when they fail, the acolytes of the program will blame you for not following the program. Seriously. It’s your fault for buying the shakes, taking them as directed and not getting results. To add insult to injury (or in this case zero weight loss), they then try to sell you……guess what!  MORE shakes and snacks.

I can’t tell you how much money I wasted believing in these diets.  They aren’t sustainable or fun. I spent more time fretting over what I was going to eat or what I had eaten every day than I did losing weight. When I did lose some weight, the minute I went off the program, I got fatter. Call it my starvation-binge era cause I was always freaking out about what I was putting in my mouth and when I got to eat real food, I went overboard.  By the way, I never did enjoy the shakes either.

Oh speaking of that, they people slinging these programs have an excuse for the nasty taste.  They claim that sometimes you have to do something you don’t like to achieve your weight loss goal.

Total insanity.

Point is, shake diets do not work


They are no fun. Who wants to spend the rest of their lives drinking bad chalk tasting drinks for their health? Not this crazy girl. Nope. Give me food, real food which I can sit down and enjoy with every ounce of my being. Food which tastes good to my palate and fills me with nourishment and joy.

I fell for the shake diet insanity for too many years. Today, diet shake programs still do not make sense to me at all. I eat real food which I enjoy  and amazingly, I’ve lost weight and kept it off as a result.